Monday, August 31, 2009

Recovery? Faith vs. False Hope

Call it faith, false hope or whatever you like. The label is irrelevant.

Friday, August 28, 2009

Is Mercury Poisoning Real?

Let me tell you a weird story about my own experience with mercury poisoning. When I was about 6 or 7 years old we had a mercury thermometer in the backyard. After a storm the thermometer fell to the ground and broke. What spewed out was a bright red substance that to my 6 year old self looked like Hawaiian Fruit Punch (you see where I'm going). My mother told me not to touch it, that it would kill me but after several days of seeing it on the ground I reached out my little finger and put just a tiny drop on the tip. I took that tiny drop into my mouth and guess what? It didn't taste like fruit punch. It tasted awful and within a few minutes I began to feel sick. I had a horrible headache, my body ached, I was tired and I felt nausea. I lied down in my bed for several hours feeling weak but I couldn't fall asleep nor could I get up. At the time I didn't tell anyone because I knew I would get in trouble for not heeding the warning of my mother. A few hours later I was able to get out of bed, I think it was dinner time. So, stop making fun of Jeremey Piven. I believe you, Pivs. Mercury poisoning is very real.
P.S. Know what's in your vaccines before you take them.  Check out this PDF with a list of the ingredients inside the Flu Vaccine and ask yourself if you'd rather have this in your body or the flu?

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Added a few tunes

I added a few songs. "My Hero" by the Foo Fighters because every time I listen to that song I think of Aydan. The line "...he's ordinary," is something that any parent of a child with autism can relate to. The extraordinary act of our children is to simply be "ordinary". I also added "Spaceboy" by the Smashing Pumpkins because Billy Corgan wrote this about his autistic brother (nuff said). Aydan's favorite song is Kanye West's "Heartless". No matter how much he's crying if he hears that song and/or sees the video he calms and even gets giddy. Strange lyrics and content for a 4 year old but whatever works. To listen to these songs you can check out Aydan's playlist.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Aydan's Story

Our first son is Avery. He was a small 6 lb. 11 oz. baby. Adorable, sweet and always sick. After numerous trips to doctor and incorrect diagnosis, after incorrect diagnosis he ended up in the emergency room. That emergency room visit turned into 2 weeks in the hospital and a surgery resulting from a ruptured gallbladder at age 7 months. After countless blood draws daily in the hospital, I decided to hold off on vaccines. I waited until he was fully recovered at around 18 months. When I finally allowed the doctor to vaccinate, I said “no MMR, I heard it causes autism.” The doctor swore up and down that this was unfounded and that the doctors who made this claim were sued and lost there licenses. Trusting our doctor, I allowed the vaccine but said just one since he was so traumatized in the hospital.

Fast forward less than a year later, we had Aydan. Aydan was a big 9 lb., 9oz. baby. Healthy and strong, he crawled at 4 months, walked at 10 and spoke single words by 12 months, even knowing the word “hands” when he clasped his hands together. (Today at age 4 we are still struggling to teach him his body parts). Remembering the words of my doctor; I did not hesitate to vaccinate Aydan. He received all of his shots as scheduled but something happened to our big, healthy boy. In an all too familiar story he began to regress following a sickness and a series of vaccines. His language became sparse and erratic; he walked primarily on his toes and did not have interest in other children, even his brother. One day I took him to our Mommy and me gymnastic class and the instructor asked why he wasn’t talking yet (at age 2), “is it autism?” she asked. I immediately responded, “no”…”he’s not been tested.” I hated her for saying that and I couldn’t keep it out of my head. I became an expert on the subject of Google and looked for any explanation that wasn’t “autism”. I couldn’t find it. Later I heard the “a” word again and this time it was from a friend. I knew she labored to tell me but in the end she did what she thought was best and so did I. A few days later he was diagnosed. The doctor was great, telling me that nowadays kids recover all time and not to worry. What she didn’t tell me was that the reason kids recover is because their families work their as*** off and spend countless hours and funds on resources.

I’ll never know if holding off on vaccinating my first son spared him for autism or if not holding off on my second caused his autism. I can’t really dwell on what could’ve been but can only forge forward and know in my heart that one day Aydan will recover.

Since, I can’t take back what I did having my son vaccinated, I can try hard today to make his quality of life worth it and find meaning in all that we go through.